It’s Okay if Your Motherhood Journey Doesn’t Look Like You Imagined, Take It From These Stars

For Brewster, being unable to carry her sons brought on a whole host of different insecurities. “I didn’t know anyone else who needed gestational surrogacy,” she said, “and then later on I found out that, like, there were people around me who did, but just didn’t talk about it.”

So as she chatted with other moms in Texas, where she was filming TNT’s Dallas remake, and then in her L.A. moms’ group, she felt like the “weirdo,” certain that everyone else was judging her between talk of sleep training and tummy time. 

“Because everyone would be like,” she recalled putting on an affected, high voice, “‘Oh my god! You lost your baby weight so fast!’ And I was like, ‘Oh, I didn’t, I wasn’t able to carry.’ So then I would have to over-explain. I’m not one of those women who’s like, ‘I don’t have to explain to anyone because it’s no one’s business.'”

Eventually she forced herself to shift out of that apologetic mindset. “I realized, you know what, the only thing that matters is that I’ve got these boys,” she explained. “I’m fortunate enough that they’re my babies and I’m doing my absolute best. And that is all that matters.”